girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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