There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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