Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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