Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
