he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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