Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
