I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
