I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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