There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
