Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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