She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
