he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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