Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
