therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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