Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
