its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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