My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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