CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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