Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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