Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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