4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
