my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
two words...techno handjob
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
