I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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