Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Randomize