dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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