You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
