We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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