Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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