Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
