I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
