dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
