To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize