It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
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all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
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I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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