i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
my phone needs a breathalizer
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
