i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just puked most of my soul out..
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