Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
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I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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