We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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