I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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