It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
