You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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