Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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