I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
