I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
