Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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