still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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