im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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