I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
