I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I just want nice things and good sex
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
