you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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