Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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