I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
