I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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