Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
