I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
