im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
