She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
