it hurts more in the daytime
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
