y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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