I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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