Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
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